


Jeeves and the Toothache

by Ponddipper



Category: Jeeves & Wooster, Jeeves - P. G. Wodehouse
Genre: Dentists, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Toothache
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-04
Updated: 2020-07-04
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:00:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25068055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ponddipper/pseuds/Ponddipper
Summary: Jeeves has a bad tooth but refuses to get it seen too.  Bertie must take matters into his own hands.
Relationships: Reginald Jeeves & Bertram "Bertie" Wooster, Reginald Jeeves/Bertram "Bertie" Wooster
Comments: 2
Kudos: 32





	Jeeves and the Toothache

A few weeks ago, I was having lunch at the flat with my pal, Sir Roderick Glossop the loony Doctor, when a loud animal-like sound emanated from the kitchen.

‘Nnnnaaarrggghhh!’

Poor old Roddy jumped, nearly spilling his lemonade.

‘Mr Wooster! What on earth is that terrible din?’

‘Ah yes. Sorry old top.’ I sighed, downing the knife and fork. ‘It’s my man Jeeves. He has a terrible toothache but refuses to go to the dentist to get it seen.’

Another groan, somewhat reminiscent, if that is the word I want, of a bear with a bellyache after eating too much fish while fishing in a rocky canyon.

‘Good lord!’ Sir Roderick’s eyebrows made a dash for his hairline at the sound. ‘He sounds like he’s in agony.’

I sighed again.

‘He is, but he has an iron will and will not bend. I’ve tried everything. I offered to pay, to go with him, even to hold his hand but he won’t budge. Nothing the chemist can provide will touch it for long and I don’t wish to get him stuck on the hard stuff.’

‘Quite.’

‘I fear,‘ I said taking a sip of my _fortified_ lemonade, ‘that unless I can borrow one of your special jackets that does up at the back, and a heavy dose of horse tranquillizers, there is nothing to be done. The thing will fall out on its own in the end I suppose.’

Another shuddering moan crept from behind the kitchen door and rattled the cutlery on our plates. Sir Roderick _smiled_.

‘Hmm.' He steepled his fingers against his lips and furrowed the brow for a moment before continuing. 'I may have a somewhat less _dramatic_ solution, Mr Wooster.’ Sir Roderick said, a glint in his eye that reminded me of Aunt Dahlia about to propose one of her schemes.

And he gave me his idea.

It took a couple of days to get everything in place but finally, it was time for this Wooster to come to the aid of the party.

‘There you go, Jeeves.’ I said handing over the glass of warm milk and brandy I had just made. ‘Drink up, there’s a good chap.’

The man’s head was drooping, so I helped steady him and the glass as he swallowed it down. It was his fourth, or maybe fifth glass and he was getting rather sleepy. Alcohol, you see, has something of a sedative effect on my valet and at this moment that was something to be grateful for.

‘Aunt Dahlia swears by this as a cure for toothache old thing.' I said, rubbing his back as he burped loudly. 'I’m sure it’ll kick in soon.’

‘Gnnnnngggghhh.’ Jeeves groaned in reply.

The doorbell rang as Jeeves finished this latest glass and he tried to stand to answer it but, with so much b. in his system, he wasn’t able to put thought and action together. So, it was I who opened the door.

‘Good afternoon Sir!’ Laughed Dr Nash, as he waddled in with his black bag in hand. ‘Where is the patient, please?’

He was a jolly-looking cove, as round as he was tall with arms like tree trunks. He rather put me in mind of Roderick Spode, now Lord Sidcup, but this chap was far more friendly.

We had spoken on the telephone yesterday and I had briefed him on the circs, re. Jeeves’ toothache and his apprehension about getting it seen to. Dr Nash was happy to pay a visit to the old homestead and we had set up an appointment on the spot.

Jeeves took one look at the man and shot to his feet, eyes wide and swaying alarmingly. Jeeves swayed that is, not his eyes.

‘Now Jeeves,‘ I said, walking towards him. ‘This is for your own good. If you just let Dr Nash take a look at that rotten tooth of yours, you’ll be right as rain in no time.’

‘Nnnnggghh!’ Jeeves slurred, shaking his head and trying to back away, but his foot caught the edge of the rug and he fell tip over apex and landed with a thud on the carpet.

Before he had a chance to rise, I leapt upon him, rolling him onto his back and straddling his hips with my thighs. He tried to buck me off but I grasped his wrists and held them tight against his side.

‘Jeeves, that’s enough!’ I snapped. He stilled his struggles, but the look in his wide, watery eyes cut me deep. 

‘I’m sorry, Jeeves but it’s the only way.’

He shut his eyes and looked away and I was almost tempted to give in and let go, but before I knew it, Nash had his pliers in hand and had set to work.

In less than ten minutes the dentist had inspected, numbed, and prepared to yank the offending tooth, while Jeeves lay rigid below me, silent tears seeping from the corners of his eyes.

‘You’re doing well, Jeeves.’ I said, rubbing my thumbs soothingly against the insides of his wrists. ‘Almost done.’

Then, with a grunt from Nash and a gasp from Jeeves, the tooth was free.

‘Thank you for your help Doctor.’ I said helping him on with his coat a few minutes later. ‘Just pop the bill in the post and I shall settle it forthwith.’

'My pleasure, Mr Wooster. Good Day.' 

The man smiled, doffed his hat and was gone, leaving me alone with a sore and sleepy valet. We had managed to drag Jeeves up onto the Chesterfield after his extraction and now I covered him with a blanket and let him sleep off the excitement and brandy.

I knew Jeeves would be a bit upset when he woke, and I was sure there would be a certain coolness in the air for a few days, but at least his tooth was sorted now and I had already picked out a tie to be sacrificed to even up the score.


End file.
